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Would a "listenary" be a place to growing up around the desire to be better listeners? Perhaps a community growing up around the desire to be better listeners?

Here are five tips to better listening. Notice the acrostic of beginning letters. Want to have more fun? Then BE more fun. Be a good listener.

Bracket your own stories and beliefs. You don't have to abandon them; just don't let them interrupt your intended attention on the other person.

Enjoy silence. It takes practice for some of us to be come comfortable with the time it takes for some people to think before they speak.

Find yourself a listener. If you don't have a good listener for yourself, I think you will have so many things swirling and popping up in your mind that you will have difficulty with bracketing.

Use triggers to remind yourself to listen. Pick out a time of day, a situation, a tone of voice that, when you hear or see this, you will remind yourself to stop and listen.

Notice non-verbals. This means more than merely seeing and analyzing non-verbals. This means bringing them into verbal notice. Mention aloud the non-verbals that hurt or puzzle you.

Stop, look, and listen; it saves lives!

Last Updated (Tuesday, 06 July 2010 08:48)

 
  • 30-minute Private Lessons - $96
  • 30-minute Private Lessons, two in family - $184
  • 45-minute Private Lessons - $138
  • One-hour Private Lessons - $184

-All lesson fees are due on the first scheduled lesson day of each calendar month.

-Fees may be paid by cash or check to Wilma Zalabak.

-Students may be refused service if lesson fees are not paid by the second week of the calendar month.

-Partial lesson payments are not accepted. (Pro-rating is possible for the initial month.)

-There is a four-lesson minimum per month. Please see the Make-Up Policy, below.

-A $10.00 late fee will be assessed to any account with a balance after the 15th of the month.

Books for Beginners may cost $20 to $30 for each child. Transfer students should bring all their current and immediately past books to the first lesson and expect to buy books also. Whenever I feel it would be helpful to buy another book, I discuss the plan with the parents before purchasing. Some small books I provide at no cost, with the simple request that you return them if you see them lying around after your child is finished with them. I recycle these. As the student progresses you should expect to spend more on books and CDs so as to train the ear by listening.

If a student must miss a regularly scheduled lesson, he or she will be eligible for a make-up lesson only if the following procedures are observed:
-At least 24 hours advance notice of the absence is provided to the instructor
-A valid reason for the cancellation is provided (illness, death in family, etc.)
-Day, time, method, and even whether or not the make-up lesson will be given is entirely at the discretion of the instructor.
-All make-ups must be taken within one month of the missed lesson date or the lesson is forfeited.
-The instructor reserves the right to refuse all make-ups to students with excessive ineligible absences.

Last Updated (Friday, 23 July 2010 05:57)

 

With increasing government bureaucracy, red tape, and taxation, a growing number of people could feel less and less heard by the powers that control their lives. Out of frustration, they do things that mirror that lack of respectful listening. They push their prayers and creches on unbelievers, they blow cigarette smoke on nonsmoking diners, they use their guns for threat or revenge, they riot in the streets.

Then the government decides to grow up more bureaucracy, red tape, and taxation to keep public prayer out of public schools, to remove creches from courthouse lawns, to ban smoking in public places, to register or outlaw guns, to enforce curfews, and to keep more frustrated people in more prisons.

Americans don’t like the new restrictions on their liberties, and if they don’t feel heard on the deeper issues like freedom of religion, the pursuit of individual pleasures, and the preservation of physical safety, for instance, then frustrations continue to mount.

The solution seems to be more and bigger prisons that encroach on our subdivisions, and even the possibility of martial law that will envelop our streets.

Making our streets safe for freedom may have cost us our freedom.

Of course, these vignettes reflect the picture as I see it, not necessarily how you see it or how the President of the United States sees it. With that disclaimer out of the way, I will state boldly that I propose an alternative model for achieving power and influence. (See the next posting about the Synergystic Cycle.)

Last Updated (Sunday, 11 April 2010 19:43)

 

I admit the picture I will paint here is a long shot, a visionary’s dream. Try it with me.

Somewhere someone will reach out and get listened to by one other person. That first person then will go out and give the gift of listening to ten other people that week. Those people will thereby be empowered to listen to their children, and they will like it so well that they will devise ways to keep their listening up to date.

The next generation of children and teens will not need to act out because they can be heard by the important people in their lives any time they want to. They will pray quietly in school. As adults, they will go to the open window if they want to smoke. They will hold their guns as symbols of the sacred trust and freedom between them and their neighbors. There will be some who attend legislative sessions and political party conventions, just to observe, to listen, to be present, to hear those who need to be heard, to give available-eyes listening to those who stand behind the lectern.

Some of these will run for office. Others will create private organizations that can take over some of the overload of responsibilities our government now attempts to handle. Employees in either the government or the private sector will feel heard and better in touch with their own career goals and dreams, so they will move about and find new jobs that complement their skills and personalities even better than the old bureaucracy did.

Prisons will lose their overcrowding. Streets will no longer house disenfranchised persons who never felt heard in their lives. Police officers will get some needed rest and recreation so they can go home and give the gift of listening to their children for a better country in the next generation.

I believe listening is the lost link to getting heard with power and influence even in government. If information is power, then better listening is the way to power and influence—in business, in public speaking, and in reclaiming our government. If information is power, then the effective listener holds the key!

Last Updated (Sunday, 11 April 2010 19:43)

 

You’ve done the research, the visual aids, the writing, the memorization, the visualization. You are ready.


From your seat on the second row, you watch the board members. One of them looks your way and you look at her and smile slightly. You listen to the announcer introducing you. On your way to the lectern, you hear your feet scuff against a cord you hadn’t seen stretched across the walk area, and your body balance never falters. When you get to the lectern, you arrange your visual aids and turn to look at the board. You actually listen to them listening to you during that moment before you speak. You find at least one person giving you open eye contact, or else you make up one in your mind, and you begin. You know your content so well that now you can focus on your audience. You use your natural charisma to build relationship with as many on that board as you can reach during your presentation. You don’t worry about the others. Your punch line is powerful because you’ve heard correctly at least some of the motivations in those eyes around the table; you have listened well. You gather your visual aids and return to your seat amidst spontaneous applause.

For me, the content in public speaking is art, and the delivery is relationship. It’s that simple. I listen to people everywhere I go in order to enhance my ability to create art that is relevant, and then I listen to my audience during delivery in order to build relationships among them.


I believe listening is the link to power and influence in public speaking.

Last Updated (Sunday, 11 April 2010 19:44)

 
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